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I am sitting here, abruptly.. still with the whole incident that I made myself a party into. It was an accident, making myself a party to something I don't even believed in. I was tired of living. I was tired of being alone although I was loved and still love by the man I was with at that time.

I was looking for salvation, as I like to called it.

It was easy for most of you. Where hopes and dreams planned in your future. What would be left for a person like me?

I seek salvation to liberated myself from this emptiness that I have grew fond of for many years. An emptiness that has been and grew so old inside of me. There were days that I wished myself be to be dead and restrained myself from breathing, so I could feel alive.

Are you laughing to yourself while reading this? I would laugh myself to tears too if I were you as any mortal sapien would.

But here I am, still sitting without any hope and dreams with despairs and clamours bolts against my empty soul just like a martyr would rather not lose its believes.

Would you still be laughing if you've had your life just like mine?